The suppression of natural stims -> escalating stress and unhappiness -> having a 'tantrum' in public a lot -> being chastised for that and stopping -> intestinal issues and alexithymia.
You can retarget stims to safer ones, but they need to do the same thing neurohormonally.
Nothing worse than your parents hitting you up for tantrums (meltdowns) so you start running away to do them also. This is exactly what happened to me. They made out like I was trying to run away from home because I hated them, I was trying to regulate, I didn't know this.
I mean on some level I did hate them, because they were antagonising me to make me run away. I never used to coke bottle on the way home from school when I had to walk home, because I had time to just do my own stuff. Like go on swings… Except if I was bullied on the way home.
School just causes so much internal pressure, if you don't have a safe and friendly way to blow that off you will explode. I needed my autonomy – time to do what I wanted.
Crying is a way to release excess hormones. This is done usually in conjunction with vagus nerve stimulation by beating the ground or screaming. It’s actually really smart to release mass stress. Sometimes we hit our heads too. I think this is to help me cry if I can’t.
Running and flapping = generating GABA helps regulating
Screaming or humming = activating the vagus nerve for transportation, generating serotonin for happiness
Closing eyes and crying = stopping norepinephrine flooding and releasing all excess hormones
Light touch here (stroking) = generating arginine vasopressin (the fear hormone), causing aggression
Deep touch (bashing hands, strong pressure, or sucking fingers) = generating oxytocin for soothing
Autistic kids are masters of self-regulating. Leave them alone.
A meltdown can trigger a hyperplastic pivotal mental state in the brain. When this happens they will:
1. Become more enlightened with the right support, and more loving.
2. Embed bad patterns that cause background anxiety aka “masking”, or aggressive.
Treat your Autistic child with unconditional positive regard. The world can become super traumatic to us due to our sensitivities, we get pushed past our limits too often, and pivotal mental states can cause very significant brain changes that can be highly negative.
If we can’t regulate and have been masking. We can get stuck in a state where neurohormones are constantly flooding us. All our sensitivities are amplified. We cannot regain control. This is a result of critical levels of “toxic shame” that is unprocessed in our nervous system. Autistic Burnout major.
There is no therapy for being Autistic. There is increasing acceptance. I still can’t regulate properly because I constantly fight up against toxic shame about the way I need to regulate. This is the worst Catch-22 of late identification.
One of the best ones my parents figured out (specifically my Dad) was spending time in the ocean. It must not be crowded though. It gives us dopamine – deep breathing, serotonin – from the sound of the ocean, vagus nerve stimulation – from the cold water, magnesium for deep sleep – from the salt water, and oxytocin – from the pressure as it’s like a blanket, GABA – also through exercise. Oh it might also have melatonin.
The ocean is soothing to us because it provides so much regulation for us. Seaweed sucks though lol.
I never sleep better than after a swim in the ocean. It’s always the best sleep.
Can’t believe how true this joke is: