Those who accept everything about who they are…
I admire all ADHD people and those who understand what it’s like to live with the varied challenges that being an ADHDer brings.
I especially love the ones who have come to a solid understanding that this is something they cannot change, nor would they want to – these are the people who helped me accept myself.
All or nothing (dichotomous thinking) is quite common in the ADHDer population. This can lead to two extremes either a) relentless negativity, b) toxic positivity. ADHD exists on a scale between these things, and moving toward the toxic positivity side of things without dictating that people should not struggle with ADHD and being toxically positive is the end of this particular spectrum that I admire.
The extreme positions both seek to invalidate people’s experience – and the focus on either isn’t conducive to actually helping people.
My life was fraught with bad choices, drug addiction, near constant abuse, medical misdiagnosis, and many more causes of trauma that ended up giving me Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I used to be in the relentless negativity category personally, and it was a journey from this position to the one I occupy today – whenever I see these two positions posted about I get upset (in part because I see the past reflections of me and how much thinking about these two positions damaged my recovery).
Being relentlessly negative about being an ADHD person just made me suffer more internal abuse than I needed to – and the toxic positivity of the superpower narrative (especially during it’s early inception) that was about not having struggles probably kept me believing that my being an ADHDer was always going to be a negative thing – because I couldn’t get to the superpower part from a position of relentless negativity.
I am thankful and admire the people who occupy the middle areas of these extremes – because they helped me traverse the expectations of all or nothing positions that made me constantly swing between a false dichotomy.
Daily blog challenge
October is here usually known as ‘ADHD Awareness Month’ – but IMO we ADHDers deserve more than that – we deserve acceptance. We need to be listened to, we need realistic accommodations, and help. We need to start moving toward ADHD Pride Month. People should be able to feel proud of being ADHDers, because the alternative is shame.
For 31 days I will be writing every day on being an ADHDer using this list of prompts:
- Day 1: Introduction
- Day 2: What I love about being an ADHDer is…
- Day 3: My Identification/Discovery Story
- Day 4: Reactions to Identification
- Day 5: Hobby Graveyard
- Day 6: Supports and Appreciation
- Day 7: The ADHDer Community
- Day 8: Favourite ADHDer Blogs/Comics
- Day 9: Favourite ADHD Owned Business
- Day 10: Sensory Seeking/Aversion
- Day 11: Fidgets and Stims
- Day 12: Favourite ADHD Charity
- Day 13: Family
- Day 14: Order from Chaos
- Day 15: Everyone Should Know
- Day 16: Work/School
- Day 17: ADHD People I Admire
- Day 18: Someday…
- Day 19: I Love it When…
- Day 20: Communication Style
- Day 21: One thing other people don’t understand…
- Day 22: Dispel a myth
- Day 23: Can’t Live without…
- Day 24: ADHD Political Issue
- Day 25: Symbols
- Day 26: Favourite ADHD Book
- Day 27: Identity Language
- Day 28: Dealing with Boredom
- Day 29: Favourite Memes
- Day 30: Hyperfocus
- Day 31: Acceptance Means…