ADHD Acceptance Month – The ADHDer Community

ADHD Butterfly Source

The ADHDer Community

There are so many people I’d like to thank here. So many people that made me feel like being an ADHDer was actually ok, and who helped me to like myself again after spending 35 years feeling utterly alone in my struggles.

My main community is Twitter – It always has been. I was drawn to Twitter relatively late, and being honest when they switched to 280 characters it became the perfect medium for me to turn my thoughts into bite sized chunks. It seems perfect for the ADHD brain.

I want to pay special tribute to the first few people that actually made me realise that being an ADHDer was ok, that it was hard, and that there were things that could be gained by talking about it. These people were incredibly kind with their time when I first started dipping my toes into speaking about it, and the reason I advocate at all was their bravery in paving the way.

Pina – @ADHD_Alien

Thank you so much Pina. Yours was the first comic I ever saw about being an ADHD person and I cried a little because I wasn’t alone. It was the first time someone truly understood how hard being ADHD can be, and what it was like to find a community. The name is so fitting. I did feel like an alien. Her comic series is incredible, I use it to help teachers, parents, and other ADHD people understand themselves.

I cannot wait for your book (in a lovely excited, non-pressuring way).

René Brooks – @blkgirllostkeys

René changed my life hugely. I am an ADHD Coach due to her writing. I have good quality relationships due to her writing. I am far more self-compassionate due to her writing. Her blog on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria allowed me to understand why I had such issues with feedback, and it gave me a name for something that wasn’t mentioned anywhere when I was diagnosed. Working on this one thing allowed such huge positive change to happen in my life.

René’s books also taught me that I had been taught wrong how to live my life – her book on cleaning as an ADHDer has meant that I am far more on top of my day-to-day cleaning tasks. She helped sow the seed that maybe I should start living on my terms, rather than the ones I was taught should work for me. That has been an amazing contribution to my wellbeing and I will support and promote her forever.

She also helped to explain concepts in ADHDer life that I was not exposed to as a white AMAB child. She talked about the intersection of ethnicity and ADHD and helped me grow as a person through helping me see things from a different perspective. I have become far more aware of the importance of remembering this when ADHD is discussed.

Dani Donovan – @danidonovan

Dani’s comics highlight the struggles with ADHD so well – everything is defined by what people can see on the outside. So many of our behaviours are incomprehensible to others. When I first was diagnosed I was unfortunately subject to almost toxic positivity around ADHD with the ‘ADHD is a Superpower’ narrative. This narrative made me hate myself a lot. I thought I was just awful at being an ADHDer because all I had was wreckage in my past.

Dani’s comics highlighted so many things that I finally felt ok struggling with, and her understanding and translation of ADHD into comic format with great explanations is one of my go-to places for people who wish to understand their own ADHD from a lived experience perspective (along with Pina(@ADHD_Alien)).

Shannon – @3TrackMind79

The final person who really made me step up efforts and focus a lot on advocacy using my Twitter platform – I used to Tweet about a lot of different things, not just neurodiversity.

It’s really hard taking that first step to realising that you shouldn’t feel ashamed – a lot of us have bared our darkest secrets, and in the process healed from admitting stuff we were ashamed of, and a lot of that we did not need to be – we were failed by the systems around us.

Shannon gave a great speech on the importance of telling our stories at this years ADHD Camp:

I am forever grateful to these people for paving the way for me to feel comfortable to start talking, they helped me learn to love myself for who I was, rather than an ideal I was aiming for that I could never reach with the challenges I have from being an ADHD person.

The reason I speak is due to these people, and talking about my struggles has been vital for helping others realise they can feel ok about theirs. Every time we speak honestly and bravely about our vulnerability we make the world feel a little less lonely for someone else who has gone through the same experience.

To Everyone Else

Thank you to everyone who has ever interacted with me either privately or publicly. I am the person I am today, who is filled with love for this community, and will never stop advocating for it due to your encouragement. I realise why I do this every day as people start coming out of their shells.

Dani Donovan so perfectly put this in comic format last year during the ADHD Invasion / ADHD Awareness event last year – This is what the ADHD community allowed me to do.

Daily blog challenge

October is here usually known as ‘ADHD Awareness Month’ – but IMO we ADHDers deserve more than that – we deserve acceptance. We need to be listened to, we need realistic accommodations, and help. We need to start moving toward ADHD Pride Month. People should be able to feel proud of being ADHDers, because the alternative is shame.

For 31 days I will be writing every day on being an ADHDer using this list of prompts:

Published by roryreckons

I am an ADHD/Autism Coach as well as ADHD/Autism/OCD/CPTSD advocate and independent ADHD/Autism researcher. I am an ADHD/Autism Coach who trained through the ADD Coaching Academy. I write mainly about ADHD/Autism/OCD/Mental health issues, but will also discuss morality, abolition, and current affairs occasionally.

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