My wife, Cats, and Family
I am lucky to have an amazing wife. I wrote about her, my cats, and my Mum during Autistic Acceptance Month. She’s the shining beacon in my life, and I am grateful every day for the things she does for me. She has made countless accommodations in order to reduce sensory overwhelm by handling the shopping, and only making me go into certain places where it’s absolutely essential. There’s no better person in the world for me, and it’s so awesome that we found each other. I try and spoil her as much as I can.
I want to kind of deviate from what people expect here, because sometimes the support you need can be yourself, and I want to appreciate that.
TW / suicide
I have hated myself since elementary/primary school age. I kept living for the need to not hurt other people. I gave up on me completely last year when on a vast cocktail of pharmaceutical drugs in intense Autistic Burnout and trapped in a hypervigilant state for months due to the breaking of my compartmentalisation of my past.
Since then I have ceased all medication except for ADHD meds. I had this realisation – I like myself, not long ago, on September 11th – one year after I made the most awful decision of my life.
In the past year I have grown into myself. I have accepted the things about me that I cannot change, and I have worked on those things I can.
- I have written over one million words on my blog since January.
- I have become an ADHD/Autism Coach
- I’ve had two opinion pieces published in news media
- I launched a campaign to stop a torture device which will be used on neurodivergent children on Change.org that gathered over 12000 signatures in six days, unfortunately it was unsuccessful
- I’m in the process of applying for a media grant to launch a web series on the school ADHD/Autism experience in New Zealand – to show what mental distress it currently causes
- I have had lots of people reach out to me and say they feel less alone reading my Tweets (This is the best comment I ever get)
- I have assisted a significant number (can’t remember exactly) of New Zealanders realise that they are ADHD or Autistic too. Including a prominent politician, and I helped two PhD psychology level people discover their own neurodivergence
- I have discovered all my learning disabilities – I had the full house, this has been a long process of discovery – and I identified my Autism and OCD.
- I have met and emailed politicians to try and improve care in New Zealand
- I am working on my own autobiography at the moment – a slow process
- I am in full remission for Crohn’s disease after managing stress, after being on immunosuppressant medication since age 22 [15 years]
- I am finally attending trauma therapy that is working
- I have helped clients discover how to start living their best lives, and to achieve more with what they have
- I am developing a group workshop for Strengths Based ADHD Living that I am getting close to being able to deliver
- I have rediscovered my strengths after a lifetime of focusing on my weaknesses
- I have a fixed identity – although there are days where I still doubt it
- I have become a person who lives their philosophy rather than discussing it
- I have written 30 days of blogs in a row (with three additional ones) during April for Autism Acceptance month
- I have met a ton of amazing people, and done some truly life changing things
I really wanted to not be here last year. In 3 days time (the 9th), it will be the one year anniversary of me discovering that I might be Autistic. My life is incredible now. I am happy and content while still having a lot of challenges. I have found a reason to live outside Capitalism (although I still must participate).
I am self-actualized. I frequently have peak performances which I did not realise could happen. Life’s answers keep falling into place.
I am proud of me. It’s not something I ever thought I would be able to say.
Today is about celebrating the person I am, and realising that I was actually here all along, hidden under the fractured reflections of my many masks.
The Neurodivergent Twitter Community
Thank you to everyone who has support me from the ADHD & Autistic communities.
Thank you to my Twitter followers and friends.
Thank you for not giving up on me even when I wanted to, I am so glad I managed to survive.
It’s never to late to salvage a life out of the wreckage of your past, I am proof.
Daily blog challenge
October is here usually known as ‘ADHD Awareness Month’ – but IMO we ADHDers deserve more than that – we deserve acceptance. We need to be listened to, we need realistic accommodations, and help. We need to start moving toward ADHD Pride Month. People should be able to feel proud of being ADHDers, because the alternative is shame.
For 31 days I will be writing every day on being an ADHDer using this list of prompts:
- Day 1: Introduction
- Day 2: What I love about being an ADHDer is…
- Day 3: My Identification/Discovery Story
- Day 4: Reactions to Identification
- Day 5: Hobby Graveyard
- Day 6: Supports and Appreciation
- Day 7: The ADHDer Community
- Day 8: Favourite ADHDer Blogs/Comics
- Day 9: Favourite ADHD Owned Business
- Day 10: Sensory Seeking/Aversion
- Day 11: Fidgets and Stims
- Day 12: Favourite ADHD Charity
- Day 13: Family
- Day 14: Order from Chaos
- Day 15: Everyone Should Know
- Day 16: Work/School
- Day 17: ADHD People I Admire
- Day 18: Someday…
- Day 19: I Love it When…
- Day 20: Communication Style
- Day 21: One thing other people don’t understand…
- Day 22: Dispel a myth
- Day 23: Can’t Live without…
- Day 24: ADHD Political Issue
- Day 25: Symbols
- Day 26: Favourite ADHD Book
- Day 27: Identity Language
- Day 28: Dealing with Boredom
- Day 29: Favourite Memes
- Day 30: Hyperfocus
- Day 31: Acceptance Means…