my teenage poetry

TW/CW: depression, unrequited love, teenage feelings…

I have found an old book of poetry I wrote… It’s been interesting reading. I’m going to share some of this stuff. I was seventeen or eighteen here I think.

I have been thinking about why poetry appeals so much, and I realised it’s my native language. I have to use analogies to explain anything in life. The language of metaphor and simile appeal to me due to this. I also don’t care about rules generally when I write.


deceit

betrayed by a so-called friend
they’re all the same in the end
their lies and deceitful words
lead you into their evil game

wish i could be just like you
you have it all compared to me
i wish i could be happy
i just wish i could be happy

end it! throw it all away
can’t stand the pain
it’s catching up
just end it

who am i really?
i don’t know who i am
confused and sick of double-dealing
a life that’s not all laughter
just one that’s filled with pain


love

so pure and sweet
but yet so hard to reach
to live, to die
is life all so plastic?

dreams are shattered
as the dawn breaks
and we face reality
of another day

is life ever sweet?
or do we have to suffer
in a world
where pain knocks at your door

This one has a note: “Just a normal day!”


normal

there is no normal
just a stereotype
in this world
where all are different


love

Yes a second poem called love – I have never been great at titles – guessing I was reading Shakespeare in English at this point.

to be in love
hath thou ever dreamed
to taste this fruit
so pleasant and sweet

a life worth living
is a life in love
and life’s purpose
is to find the one

thou does not know
the relief i feel
to find this one
who hath been made real


field of angels

she whispers in your ear
to pursue a dream so far
and you want to run
because hope has set you free
and you feel like
you are on top
of the world
and you will never fall
because the words she spoke
you heard in a story in a dream
you found the missing piece
to the puzzle of life
and you placed it in
finding a field of angels
and that’s where you got your strength
that’s where you got your prosperity
in the sacred field
where you are now safe and calm


tears

a tear running down your cheek
means so much to my heart
it’s like jagged spears fired at my soul
with every tear i die
oh my love do not ever cry
i will try to make it better for you
somehow, someday, some other way
i’ll always be there for you
when you’re feeling down in life
and you need someone who cares
lean on my shoulder
let me kiss your cheek
i will make a promise
even a false promise
that it will be alright
i would do anything
to stop that tear right there
so wipe it off
just hold my hand
you’ll see the love
i hold for you


untitled

i tell myself i have no feelings for you
i pretend you’re just my friend
but looking into your eyes, i notice more than i should, i see
you’re the only one i can love like this
you are all of my pain, all of my joy
within you is everything i have ever needed and beyond
so much i desire to hold you
you are the one who holds my glass heart
you are the only one who makes me human
you make me who i am
i tell myself that it’s wrong
i try to hide it but it always comes out in tears
forever and always lasts my love for you
beyond space, beyond time
i always have and eternally will
i love you

Yes, that’s correct I have no idea who this was about. Sorry also to my wife, this was clearly a distortion of the truth – I clearly could love someone like whoever this woman happened to be.


the star

i observe you
like i look at the stars
you have a burning passion
yet a shining innocence
you are so close to me
but really far away
it was at any given moment
when i would truly see
what true love is
and now i found it
not in looks
or in personality
but in depth
and such a mystery
you portray a shadowbox
i can only see through a small hole
and that one glance at your life
withers any flower strong enough
to face the raging storm
i look at you like a star
you are not close
but not that far

There’s a single line written after this

i am but a drop in the great ocean of love

True story I gave this poem to a girl I met clubbing. It didn’t go well. She let me down easy at least. But thinking back to it is very cringeworthy – I always tried massive romantic gestures because that’s what media had taught me. Sorry if you are reading this Kim.


my love

she is the image of beauty
she is the image of love
and in what seems like tomorrow
she will be gone

i will wake in the morning
to find her not there
the one i loved
will be gone forever

if i were to tell her my feelings
would she understand?
this girl i’ve sworn my love to
will she not feel the same?

o what woe and despair
to fall in love
in the final minute
of an only tragic ending
for tomorrow she is gone

Published by roryreckons

I am an ADHD/Autism/OCD advocate and independent ADHD/Autism researcher. I am training in 2021 to become an ICF Accredited ADHD coach. I write mainly about ADHD/Autism/OCD/Mental health issues, but will also discuss morality, abolition, and current affairs occasionally.

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